English Dub Review: Conception “Are You Going to Tell Me That You Want Me to Have Your Child”

Are you going to tell me someone actually approved that as an episode title?

OVERVIEW (SPOILERS)

We join Itsuki and Alfie’s love ritual in progress as Mana gives narration that would make David Attenborough drop dead simply so he could roll over in his grave. And so, the thirteenth Star Child is born, though she seems to be different than the rest somehow, and Alfie suddenly collapses the next day from exhaustion. To show the situation is truly super duper serious, Shangri-La summons Itsuki to explain things. Apparently the “Thirteenth Phantom” he’ll face can only be vanquished by Itsuki dying for our sins. A bit late for that to make a dent in the sin tally, but hey, good timing having this aired originally air around Christmas. Understandably depressed, Itsuki decides to spend his last holiday with all his baby mamas (though there is some clear favoritism going on since he gives one an apron, another a PS4 game, and another a GODDAMN SELFIE as gifts).

One of his last stops is with Mahiru, which makes sense seeing how it started with her, so they have their last moment of vomit inducing cousin love. He then goes to visit the recovering Alfie, who reveals (in a mind-numbingly insane hodgepodge of obscure idol references) that she is the child of a former visitor and a Star Maiden, meaning that she herself is a Star Child AND a Maiden, which apparently explains why she was so committed to helping Itsuki AND that HER Star Child is the child of a Star Child. And also she’s 30. But I’m sure this will not play any important part in the finale whatsoever.

And heck, Itsuki’s become pretty much completely desensitized to every depravity imaginable by this point, so for his last day on Earth (or wherever this place is), he decides he’s gonna finally pay off all that sexual tension and put his dick in a flying raccoon. I am not kidding.

OUR TAKE

What else is there to say about this show? I’ve danced around the reprehensible subject matter a few times, tried giving my own take on the potential merits of its premise that is so hastily squanders, and even gotten into the dirt a few times with just how thoughtless, careless, and soulless it is as a piece of work, but I seem to run dry of proper analysis an episode before the end. Or, to put in line with this series’ mindset, I guess I went limp before the final climax. As I shout into the void of people who give a flying fuck about this show, I just may have emptied my sack of finding seminal ways to finger this culprit of time wasted and brain cells irreparably damaged or killed.

I mean…I don’t know where we crossed the line, but it was a while ago if screwing the mascot character was somehow seen as a proper Act 2 endpoint. I know we’ve probably seen some weird Pokemon fanfictions in our time but I think we all knew to avoid any that might imply there were more than literal sparks flying between Ash and Pikachu. I feel like I should save my overall thoughts for Mana for the Season Review, but she is pretty much an annoyance at best, and at worst is a constant and cruel reminder that it will not be the pearly gates that we see upon our deaths, nor the flames of Hades, but an inescapable void of frigid nothingness where we must experience a waking existential nightmare, constantly reminded of our sins and regrets without the briefest nanosecond of warmth or comfort. Sooner or later, the bill will come due for us all for our part in this. None of you are innocent. None of you are safe.

…SO! Next week is the finale, where Itsuki faces his final test and risks his life for the dozen and such women he’s had kids with, and I’m sure there will be some last minute insanity to reflect on for THAT review. This episode really feels like THE lowest point this show could get to, so I’m more than ready for just some dumb anime craziness to close things out. I’ll think of it as fresh sanitizing Bear Grylls urine to wash out the acid. In the meantime, I’m going to just stare blankly at a wall for the next…day or so.