English Dub Review: Bofuri: I Don’t Want To Get Hurt, So I’ll Max Out My Defense “Defense and Friends”

 

 

Overview (Spoilers Below)

So, Maple is killing it with defense. Plus, she can now use her mighty shield in tandem with spells and specialty attacks she’s picked up without having to resort to legitimate attack, dexterity, or speed points. An immediate paralysis spell is particularly effective as she’s able to incapacitate dozens of enemies at once. Her all-defense (and whatever skills she happens upon) scheme is so ridiculous that it’s actually working.

And today, NWO has announced its first ever event. It’s going to be a battle royal for any players who choose to compete. Maple joins up because she’s a sucker for special items. Our heroine hopes her friend Risa is activated by then; unfortunately, she won’t be ready for a few days and can only offer moral support.

The battle is introduced by the game’s chibi-dragon mascot, Dorazu, right before all the participants are transported to different parts of the game. Since Maple can’t move fast, she opts to draw a picture in the dirt while waiting for others to attack her. Once the competitors start coming, they really start coming, and Maple transforms into “One Punch Man” but for defense, as she’s killing people ad nausea with a single touch of her shield. It’s as if she’s some sort of: One Deflect Lady.

The event is a little strange because once the top three players emerge, they never have to fight each other. Plus, the first and second place guys must be doing something absurdly impressive because they finish with more points than Maple who kills every last mf’er that comes at her.

After Maple’s victory lap, Risa finally joins the game. But call her Sally, that’s her in-game name and it’d be uncouth to call her anything else. Anyway, once she’s activated, the pair of friends run into a problem. Sally has a lot of catching up to do since Maple is already on level 20. To fix this discrepancy they decide to go fishing. No really, that’s what they do.

Sally wants to be a swashbuckler to go along with her bestie’s defense powerhouse which is now being referred to in the community as the walking fortress. A swashbuckler will allegedly pair well with this fortress because they move around with enough speed and dexterity to never get hit or take damage. To begin the game, she’s already faster than Maple. So, in order to move around quicker, she runs while Maple rides on her back.

After literally hours of fishing, Sally takes up swimming. Before too long, she’s able to hold her breath up to 40 minutes and has completely mapped out an underground cave. Using her new skills, she defeats an underground fish boss, and gets her own one-of-a-kind outfit.

Now that they’ve both beaten a unique level boss, they qualify for the game’s upcoming second chapter which calls for their unique boss-killing prerequisites. Good luck, girls.

 

Our Take

Bofuri is not messing around, my friends. They are presenting us an online game without pussyfooting around by focusing on mindless grinding or endless community chat. In other words, this isn’t a realistic online game because those two activities would take up the entire half hour. Sure, a few people would form a party every now and again, but for the most part, they’d spend time grinding and trash talking. The end.

But with this program, we get all the good parts of online gaming—so long as you’re a reasonable human being and not a degenerate—while glossing over all the fluff. Bravo! Braaa…vo!

I have to admit, I was a shade concerned for the girls’ relationship prior to Risa’s entrance. After all, she’s an experienced gamer and Kaede is not. As Maple, Kaede has carved out quite the impressive niche for herself. But since she’s a newbie, there’s a chance some seasoned players won’t be too thrilled with her Cinderella story. Based on Risa’s initial reaction to Maple’s third place finish, I briefly thought she might be one of those jealous players.

Aside from that, I had a similar concern for how her in-game friends—Iz the craftswoman and Kuromu the other great shield fighter—might be miffed over the girl’s unprecedented rise to infamy. Iz, who’s not even upset that Maple got a specialized shield without paying for it, appears pleased for the girl and is happy to craft a white shield to go along with her black one as soon as she earns the materials and money. While we didn’t run into Kuromu this time around, I’m sure we would’ve heard if he was pissed.

Fishing is never a favorite for me in any sort of video game—although I find the actual activity quite relaxing. The fact that this program made fishing exciting by awarding it proper stakes is a testament to the quality of this product. In truth, they’ve earned so much good will by enhancing this mundane activity, I wouldn’t even mind if the next episode took place entirely inside a farm simulator.