Comic review: Bravest Warriors #33

All the new things are happening! Not only do we have a brand new storyline, we also have an issue without side stories. That’s right. There is only one story in this issue and it is the main story. Hopefully that means the story will be extra awesome.

The Bravest Warriors have just returned from another mission. On their way back inside their home base, Wallow notices one of Peach’s ships. Plum and Peach, excited to see each other, share a tender kiss. Unfortunately, the cutesy mood is interrupted with Peach’s announcement that Jelly Kid is dead. Distraught, Danny rushes inside…only to find Impossibear poking Jelly Kid’s corpse with a stick.

As Danny cries over his “baby,” Wallow points out that Jelly Kid has healing powers and just needs his head reattached. Once his head has returned to the proper position, Jelly Kid pops back to life. Danny accuses Impossibear of murder. When Impossibear claims innocence, Danny forces everyone to stay together until he finds the culprit.

Next up on the list of the accused is Peach. After all, she was there before the Warriors arrived. And she hacked the base’s security code so she could use the holo-john. Thankfully, the computer verified that Peach did, indeed, use the facilities.

The gang returns to the main room, where they find Jelly Kid dead once again. This time, the gang breaks up in order to search the base for someone who doesn’t belong.

Peach and Plum find the goblin bandit king running around stealing things. Chris and Beth show up just in time to catch the goblin. When Catbug accuses the goblin of murder, the gang finds out that he only speaks in rhymes, which annoys the crap out of Beth. They bring the goblin to Danny, who is also annoyed by the constant rhyming. While the goblin admits to stealing a number of things, he insists that he did not murder anyone. Either way, he still gets sent to jail for all time.

Confident that they caught the culprit, Danny goes to get a snack. On his way back from the fridge, he finds Jelly Kid dead again. This time Danny skips sleeping so he can watch Jelly Kid constantly. Oh, and he puts Jelly Kid in a metal suit.

FLASHBACK!

Here what REALLY happened.

The first murder was committed by a pigeon that got into the base. Jelly Kid offered him some toast and the bird killed him with a crossbow.

The second murder was committed by a teleporting space alien with laser swords. As Catbug and Impossibear discussed candy issues, the goblin king raced in and stole Jelly Kid’s toast. Just then the alien teleported in and sliced Jelly Kid to bits as a warning to the Warriors before teleporting out again.

The third murder was committed by a strange alien with ten glowing yellow eyes and three forked tongues. When Danny went into the kitchen for his snack, the monster was hiding under a blanket on the couch. Jelly Kid was intrigued by the rustling of the blanket and peeked under. Of course, he offered the beast some toast but the beast ripped the Kid’s head off instead.

After all that, no one ever caught any of the real culprits and poor Danny won’t ever sleep again.

Since there were no side stories to squeeze in, this issue was almost like two issues in one. Even though I usually want the storylines to be longer in order to give us more characterization, I thought that this issue was paced perfectly. We were able to see the Warriors try to solve the murders and we got to see what actually happened. We even got to see some Peach and Plum kissing action. This is definitely one of my favorite issues.