I have spent four hours of my life doing two watch throughs of Quantum Cowboys. The only thing I can really say is “this god damn movie is out there.” I’ve seen some movies that took the long way around to explain a plot. I don’t even know what’s going on, but that’s not even the biggest detriment to this…experience.
So, with that said, Quantum Cowboys is less about the story (which after a second watch through, I did find a semblance of one) and more about showcasing as many animation styles as possible. . And that’s where Quantum Cowboys shines. It takes a lot of time and dedication to meld multiple animation styles together. For instance, about eight minutes in is a scene where there’s a man who bears a striking resemblance to The Architect from The Matrix Reloaded. He’s sitting in his pod, explaining his version of a butterfly effect. As he explains, we’re going from live action, to clay-mation, to sketch animation, to animated watercolors, and back round to claymation.
However, there are portions of Quantum Cowboys that seems more like excessive filters over live action shots. There was a scene after the credits rolled, where a guy is released from prison, and he bud shows up to the door well after, and it was like someone went crazy with filters. Then later, when Bruno and Frank came back together, and it feels like less animation, and more filtering. It was more jarring than not.
But here’s the deal. All of the special effects, filtering, and fixed camera green screen acting can’t even try to his the awful writing. The story was nonsensical at it’s best. I spent the better part of four hours and two watch throughs trying to decipher what the god damn plot is. That’s a gigantic problem. No one should have to sit through any movie three times to figure out a plot. I can only go so far before I throw my hands up.
Let me try to break this down as much as I can. The movie’s protagonists are Frank and Bruno, and their inability to get the fuck out of their own way. They meet this woman who manages to keep interfering with Frank. This interference keeps him from getting killed, and sets off the entire events where Frank and Bruno end up in a time loop. They have to save a musician named Blacky. This poor guy was killed in the beginning of the movie, and saving him never gets resolved.
All the while, there is a film crew outside the space-time continuum. Why? All they do is show up in a few scenes, play a small role in the end of the film. These three are chronicling this for the guy that’s a bootleg Architect from The Matrix Reloaded. The fact that this movie made zero sense is maddening. However, the fact that this is supposed to be the start of a trilogy just makes me have an aneurysm.
I don’t get it. I won’t dispute that at all. The issues with Quantum Cowboys are so god damn numerous. As much as I loved the constant changes of animation, the plot and shitty overuse of filters in Premiere Pro is awful. Let’s not forget that almost every scene is a simple green screen shot. This is something I would expect from a high school cinematography course, and not a major release. How in the fuck did they get former WCW World Heavyweight Champion, and GCW Deathmatch King David Arquette involved in this? Did the checks from the Scream franchise not cover expenses anymore?
I will avoid calling Quantum Cowboys awful. Calling something awful means there’s no way to fix it. But good god damn is this decrepit. The screenwriters need to do A LOT to fix the narrative, and make this work. Unfortunately, Quantum Cowboys doesn’t seem like it will as of now. When part two comes out, hopefully it will change. However, if you need a second movie to make the first movie better, then something’s wrong with the first movie.