Review: Crash & Bernstein – “Monkey Business”

Ah, Monday. As if the day wasn’t bad enough alone, Disney XD decided to make it worse by airing a new episode of Crash & Bernstein. Let’s not be Negative Nancies and see if tonight’s episode can save us from Monday.

The episode begins with Crash and Wyatt playing Tether Pickle. Mr. Poulos finds them, which begins a series of bets between the little man and Crash. Of course, every bet relies on whether Wyatt can actually do something. Wyatt, being the awesome kid that he is, wins every single challenge…meaning that Crash has won all of Poulos’s stuff.

One of the items Crash won is a prized motorcycle mechanic book. For whatever reason, Crash eats the book. Somehow, by eating the book, the puppet has not only memorized the entire manual but also turned into a literal grease monkey. As a result, Crash maniacally fixes every motorcycle he comes across. Unfortunately, he does not have a license to fix motorcycles so Officer Plotkin gives him a ticket, which Crash immediately destroys. In the end, Crash receives a number of tickets from the policeman.

Obviously, the boys do not have the money to pay the fines. When Wyatt realizes just how much money Crash can make by fixing motorcycles, he quickly agrees to help Crash do it on the down low. In their world, “on the down low” means airing a television commercial that not only advertises Crash’s skills but also promises things like free cat butt washing. (By Wyatt, of course.)

Once Wyatt sees how many customers have lined up to get their bikes fixed, he starts to get nervous. Before starting to any of his work, Monkey Crash rushes off to the toilet. When he emerges, he has returned to his normal annoying self…leaving a huge line of angry bikers with broken motorcycles. Luckily, Mr. Poulos’s mother used to read the manual to him as a bedtime story so he knows exactly how to fix motorcycles. Wyatt convinces him to help and they manage to get all of the bikes fixed without a problem. Well, with a few problems – Crash keeps eating books and causing trouble.

Just when they fix the last motorcycle, Office Plotkin breaks his police scooter-Segway-thing.

Plotkin agrees to tear up all of Crash’s tickets if Poulos can fix the scooter. The first problem is a simple cashew stuck in the gear. Once that is removed, Crash runs “the new thing” into a wall, destroying it. Poulos tries to fix the scooter again but all of the instructions are pictures, no text. Wyatt, knowing that his generation reads pictures better than words, takes over the task and completes the scooter. Unfortunately, Crash has eaten a SuperPolice comic book that Pesto has been reading and he adds a few “extras” to the scooter.

As always, there are a few chuckle-worthy moments in the episode. However, for the most part, the show has not gotten any better since it began. There are only two episodes left and I absolutely cannot wait until it is over.