REVIEW: BLACK DYNAMITE “Honky Kong or White Apes Can’t Hump”

A circus ape falls for Honeybee and kidnaps her. Black Dynamite launches a rescue attempt but encounters his own problems during the mission.

Spoilers Below

Honeybee isn’t feeling the appreciation despite doing everything around the Whorphanage and with child services coming by for a check up the next day, Black Dynamite decides to take the whole place to a new circus in town that was started by two smack dealers who were able to knock out a huge white ape and put him up for show. So far the gig is pretty legit, showing off a magic act, a three tittied lady, and finally the coup de -gras Mr. Honky Kong himself! If you’ve ever seen the movie King Kong starring Jack Black and Naomi Watts you kinda no where this is going, because just like in that movie the big ape breaks out of his steel chains so that he can be united with his true love…which in this case happens to be Honey Bee!

The huge ape grabs Honey and climbs up a building to the tippy top fighting off airplanes ala the film, however Black Dynamite decides to jump out of one of the planes and puts a beating down on Honky Kong that would make Super Mario jealous! However, unlike the movie the ape doesn’t fall to its death, instead it scampers off with Honey in tow screaming her lungs out. So, with Bee gone that leaves Dynamite in charge of the Whorphanage and while there he gets a visit from the two Rallos who opened the circus in the first place, and Boa Africana of whom is trying to track down the ape laving Creamed Corn and the whores to deal with child services.

The guys decide to go to Honky Kong’s home jungle but while there they are attacked by all sorts of large creatures like dinosaurs, cats, and spiders! Thankfully, Black downs the giant spider who had already killed everything in a sort of food chain type of way, but the guys aren’t safe yet because they get surrounded by a local tribe that takes them all in as intruders to their homeland. Meanwhile, Creamed gets accosted by the child services lady to the point where she is just begging for a fuck. Back at Honky’s cave, Honey Bee starts to warm up to the ape as first he prepares dinner, draws naked pics of her, and then does what Black Dynamite never could do…listens. That said, turns out Honky wanted a ‘little’ action but he ends up grossing Bee who flips out about the large ape’s small dick and as such Honky Kong goes nuts!

Turns out the local Indian tribe are not so unlike us, they love basketball, Sammy Davis, and kidnapping black people and turning them white! Ok, maybe that last part no one really does. The tribe grabs Black Dynamite and puts them in their machine but out of nowhere comes Honey Bee and Honky Kong rampaging all the meanwhile setting Black free to take down Honky Kong once and for all. Oh yea, don’t worry the Whorephanage is just fine…thanks to Creamed Corn’s ‘little helper’.

Boy, oh boy the networked picked a fine week to put up this episode because this is easily the best episode of Black Dynamite all season thus far. In only 30 minutes, the producers were able to blow through the entire plot of King Kong that took Academy Award winner Peter Jackson THREE HOURS to do! And while you’re at it throw in a plot involving Creamed Corn and the child services lady gettin’ it on like Donkey Kong! The fight scenes with Black Dynamite and Honky Kong were scene stealers, and the animation crew deserves a standing ovation for pulling that shit off proving that Titmouse is easily at the top of its game right now in terms of American animation. Throw in the ulterior motives coming in from the local Indian tribe that had me laughing like crazy during the Harlem Globetrotters deal, and you have yourself an INSTANT classic.

(10 out of 10)