Life of the Modern Day Cartoon: the G4 Edition

g4esquire

I need to throw a shoutout to Mario over at Mario Likes Movies, for the support shown for last week. Go follow him on twitter @likesmovies.


So, there was a lot of hullabaloo over my article last week, apparently I was too harsh. You know what? That is what is needed today. If a person doesn’t like something, or sees it in a way that you all don’t, he should say it without remorse. Welcome to my G4 article. Well, I’ll be throwing in a lot of Adam de la Peña bashing too. Here is the required tag: @AdamdelaPena.  Let’s get into a bit of backstory.

G4 started off as a Video Game Channel. And for what it was (a low budget niche channel that was just occupying air space on Comcast’s small litany of channels), it wasn’t terrible. There was a lot of originality for the shows; shows that gamers wanted to see. You wanted to watch cutscenes from games? Watch Cinematech. If you like sports games, then watch Sweat. Shit, they even had a show that was a satire on MMO’s, called Portal. They had mini documentaries based on game makers called…well…Game Makers. There was literally something for everyone.

They had so much steam, the heads at Comcast dropped TechTV from its channel lineups. This lead to Comcast buying it, and merging the channel with G4. That channel became G4TechTV.

Then in 2005, the shit hit the fan, when the evil no-no word, “rebranding,” came into common vernacular at G4. They took off the TechTV end of the name, and cut all but 80 or so jobs from the TechTV people. Then they closed down the studios that G4 had used, putting them in the same studio that the rest of the Comcast channels (E! and Style) were in. All of the gaming shows, except X-Play, got the axe. However, it gave us the most abhorrent, disgusting show I have seen this side of Honey BooBoo. That show being Attack of the Show.

It seems that G4 loves to shit in peoples mouths, and tell them that it’s an after dinner mint. They flood the air with shit reruns of Quantum Leap, Knight Rider, Ninja Warrior, Campus PD, Cheaters (Oh my god, do I hate this show…), and now reruns of decent shows like Heroes and Lost. Holy fucking shit, it’s like they wanted this channel to die. Comcast did to an entire channel what Disney and Cartoon Network does to single shows. This is incredulous.

There were some good to come of this. Ninja Warrior was pretty funny, but there is only so many times I can watch it before I want to throw my remote through my television. The G4 Underground specials were pretty good as a departure from the bullshit that normally flooded the channel. Also of note: Happy Tree Friends was on the channel in 2006. This was by far the funniest show on the channel, until a certain 8-bit cartoon swept the airwaves and smoked it in one giant bong hit.

Yes, ladies and Gentlemen, I am talking about Code Monkeys. The show that was so retro, the animation looked like it was straight out of a Nintendo cartridge. The show was created by Adam de la Peña, and the show was easily the highest rated show on G4 for the 2 seasons it aired. The show followed two programmers at GameaVision, Dave and Jerry, and their misfit co-workers.

Part of the splendor of this show was their guest stars, from Apple’s Steve Wozniak, to David Jaffe (creator of God of War) to Tommy Chong. There were references to Scarface, Donkey Kong, Nintendo, Intellivision, among others. The stereotypes were so tastelessly done, it couldn’t be contrived as anything other than a gross satire of the times. Big T Larrity was a southern oil tycoon with a penchant for stuffing dead ex wives. His so, Dean, is strong, with a case of borderline retard strength. You have the stereotypical man hating woman in Mary, and the slut in Claire. Black Steve, is well, black, and Todd is your nerd who has a hard on for his mother, and collecting dolls. Yes, he has a problem differentiating fantasy from reality.

All of this was comedic gold. The first season was watched over 20 million viewers. The second season came very close to matching it.  But, it seems that there was something behind the scenes that didn’t get the show renewed for season 3.

Adam de la Peña has had shows covering multiple networks that were genius. He created Crank Yankers, Minoriteam, I’m with Busey, and of course, Code Monkeys. The network head has gone on record numerous times that the show was record breaking. You would think that the network would want to do anything and everything possible to keep the show, yes?

Well, they did. Unfortunately, the twat known as Adam de la Peña got in the way, and the show didn’t get renewed. He tried to reach out to our site for a story on his show, Your Dungeon, My Dungeon. The show was already over, and there was nothing to report. However, we want the story for Code Monkeys, and why it was cancelled. So, this goes out to you, you arrogant douchebag. The door is wide open here at BB to get your story out there. Hiding behind your publicist and PR person will not get your story out. When you decide to grow a sack for your non-existent balls, I’ll be here waiting to interview you.

Anyway. So. It’s 2010, Code Monkeys died a death that should be used for American Idol, it was the beginning of the end. Comcast bought NBCUniversal, and started cycling things from Universal to all of it’s channels, so all of the crap that couldn’t go anywhere else got stuck on G4. Well, everything that could fit outside of the reruns of television’s worst shows ever. I mean, How many times do we need to see Quantum Leap or Cops?

Early 2012, Comcast announced that G4 was going to be rebranded again. This time, killing off the brand of G4 to make way for the Esquire Network. Systematically, they killed off pillars of their marquee shows, like X-Play and Attack of the Show. But guess what! They’re still in reruns! The last 30 or so episodes of each are on a constant loop Monday through Friday until the Esquire Network takes over on April 22.

So, what is the Esquire Network? It’s Bravo. For guys. The official branding is “geared towards metrosexuals with shows about travel, cooking, fashion, and some gaming.” So, what that means is that the last bastion of a man’s channel (Fuck Spike, it’s a terrible channel), and we get our collective dicks into a vice and Esquire is born.  One outlet for quality animation is gone. One outlet for great (at one time) gaming shows is gone. This is just the latest in the Pussification of the American Male. George Carlin said it best:

 

“Here’s another horrifying example, or aspect of American culture…The pussification! The continued pussification of the American male, in the form…Yeah? Alright! In the form of Harley Davidson theme restaurants! What the fuck is going on here? Harley Davidson used to mean something! It stood for biker attitude! Grimy outlaws and their sweaty mamas full of beer and crank…! Rolling around on Harleys, looking for a good time!”

 

-George Carlin from his 1999 HBO Live Broadcast, You Are All Diseased

So, Thanks, Comcast. This is another thing you fucked in the ass, and gave us something even worse.  I feel like I’m in a class of children who the state refused to leave behind. Next week, I douse lighter fluid on cheap cash-in games.

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Cybertron Messiah

Anime, gaming, action, I do it all. Most of it shows up on the Broadcast Bubble show, Gaming on Cybertron. Tuesdays at 9 pm, right here on BubbleBlabber!

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