Book Review: ‘Grampa Simpson’s Guide to Aging’ (Vault of Simpsonology)

Spoilers Below:

Here’s a first for me. Believe it or not, I have yet to cover a book review for BubbleBlabber. Well, here we are, and this one is a perfect starter: Grampa Simpson’s Guide to Aging. Part of the twelve volume “Vault of Simpsonology” series that focuses on various fan favorite characters from The Simpsons, this issue centers on the oldest member of the Simpson family talking about what he knows best: being old.

Rather than reading like a normal book, the guide is a collection of different segments, some text-based, some illustration-based, and most a combination of the two. Examples include an “Am I Old?” quiz, a chart for “Deciphering the Secret Language of Young People,” “Bart Simpson’s T-shirts for the Old and Cranky” (Parts I and II), and diagrams like “Dr. Nick Riviera’s Anatomically Incorrect Guide to the Ailments of the Aged.” There’s also a lengthy comic in the middle, called “The Dependables.” And this is just a sample of the contents.

Best Bits:

1) Grampa apparently holds grudges against Popeye and Ralph Wiggum, as shown in the “Virtual Tour of Grampa Simpson’s Brain” segment.

2) The same section also has an illustration entitled, “Fondness for defunct, mildly-racist cartoon mascots.”

3) Best “Motivational Posters for the Elderly”: the one reading, “Your lawn – Those kids aren’t going to get off it by themselves.”

4) One of the “Gift-giving Ideas from Around Your House” is the eraser pig from season 9’s “Lisa the Simpson.”

5) The best shirt comes not from Bart’s t-shirt section, but instead the “Frink & Son’s Genetically Modified Food Pharm” part: “I’d rather be in Roma than a diabetic coma.”

6) One of the “Last Hurrah Headstones” reads, “DO NOT REANIMATE.”

I don’t think I’m spoiling anything when I say the Vault of Simpsonology books are reserved for the real die-hard fans. I’m not just talking about the ones who have seen every episode, but the ones who collect anything and everything Simpsons-related, including toys, comics, clothing, and homewares.

And folks in that category should be delighted with the latest release. It has a ton of different sections (with a few even spanning multiple parts) and a solid variety of characters – leaving something for those who don’t consider Abe one of their favorites on the show.

Collectors should be especially excited at the freebies included, like the poster located just inside the front cover, the elderly paper dolls, and the Dependables trading cards.

For more casual fans, there’s plenty of Simpsons humor sprinkled heavily throughout, although a lot of it tends to border on the corny. Even for people who don’t really watch the show, there are enough jokes about aging that this could also double as a nice gag gift for somebody reaching a milestone birthday, retiring, or suffering from that disease Robin Williams had in Jack.

My biggest criticism? (And it’s a big one.) The price tag. The cover price is listed as $25, and even Amazon only knocks it down to $19. That’s a lot to ask for a hardcover coffee table book that’s smaller than a coffee pot. It’s especially a lot considering this book generally only lends itself to a read or two. Sure, it’s the kind of book you could leave out for guests to flip through – but screw those mooches! – tell ‘em to get their own damn books.

In the end, this is a must-buy for those who simply must buy anything and everything Simpsons, and maybe even for Simpsons comic collectors. But unlike the episode guides that I grew up reading, this is a book on which the TV show purists can probably pass.