Review: A7x’s ‘Hail to the King’

This past weekend the long awaited project between Avenged Sevenfold and Jon Schnepp entitled “Hail to the King” hit the Internet on the Machinima ‘Happy Hour’ page. I’ll admit that, like most listeners of metal, I dabbled in a bit of Avenged Sevenfold when I got out of high school. It was a decent life, but I quickly grew tired of it as my musical tastes began to change. When I saw there would be an animated series way back in August, I quickly jumped at the chance to be the one who got the coverage. My nostalgic self anticipated a great story with Metalocalypse inspired animation. What I received was a mixture of plot holes, piss poor storytelling, and clunky/rushed animation. The teaser trailer and press release is a little over 4 months old, meaning there had to have been some work done on this project beforehand. I expected much more than roughly 2 minutes of actual story per video. Also, with Schnepp at the helm, I expected a tighter product. Again, this I did not receive. Let’s take a quick stroll through the six videos that comprise the series before we go any further.

001- Wager Of The Gods: Three gods place bets as to what will happen to humanity if they placed a mystical talisman on the planet that gave godly powers to the owner. We see clips of king after king being betrayed. Then just before the end credits they reveal our yet to be named protagonist.

002- Rise Of Andronikos: A group of warriors attacks an encampment of beasts and goblins. This is where we first see how flawed the action sequences really look. Just watch the attacks, running, and Andronikos’s breathing on top of the tower. This is also where we see some of the writing flaws. I thought the line “More fighting. Less boasting.” was meant to be unintentionally funny, but I was quick to realize that there would be plenty more gems like it. And by gems, I’m clearly being sarcastic. After the battle, a lowly goblin remains of the opposition. He is sent back to his kingdom as a warning.

003- The Crown Awaits: The goblin bursts into the Azatoth’s throne room with his warning. He is quickly fed to the king’s pet that, ironically, only eats goblins. Meanwhile, Andronikos and his men are on a beach, fighting a guy who is made of snakes. Here we hear another one of the incredible gems: “Andronikos, I will penetrate your soul! – Snake Guy.” What does that even mean? Anyway, they kill the snake guy with relative ease. But their companion with the bow and arrow (Dranok, as identified in a later episode) fires upon them in an act of betrayal.

004- Traitor Amongst Us: Andronikos tells Dranok that his family is already dead and that is the reason they fight Azatoth’s army. Dranok doesn’t listen and takes aim again. Somehow, Andronikos is able to catch an arrow, run up, and stab Dranok with an arrow before he is able to fire upon them again. Azatoth then shows up on the beach to battle Andronikos. This had all the build up to be an epic boss battle, but sadly it was handled in the same manor as all the other battles. Azatoth morphs into a huge, crab-like monster, but Andronikos just hops on his head and stabs away until the battle is over. No muss. No fuss. And sadly no real action to speak of as well. Azatoth turns into a goblin and is slain by Andronikos.

005- A God Usurps: Andronikos sits upon his throne when Kerberos (the evil God from 001) shows up. Andronikos’ right hand man, Tholamew(sp?), is electrocuted and killed by Kerberos. In an attempt to avenge his friend, Andronikos takes the offensive, but is electrocuted as well. Kerberos. Kerberos then replicates Andronikos and casts him away.

006- The Death-Bat Awakes: Andronikos’ double has unleashed demons on his kingdom. A woman begs for mercy, but is quickly beheaded. The real Andronikos is hurled through space and into madness. Kerberos breaks the talisman in 3 pieces and sends them all to different kingdoms: One stays with the fake Andronikos, one goes to a Bat king and one sits on a necklace placed around the neck of a blatant Princess Leia rip off. The remaining gods realize that Kerberos has changed the rules of their wager and summon a warrior to even the playing field.  That warrior is presumed to be the Death-Bat, but is never truly stated because the credits roll.

And there we have it, folks. “Hail to the King” in all it’s glory. What was promised as a series amounted to nothing more than cut scenes that were too nice to toss into the mobile game, which is also coming out soon. The physical artwork of the show is really well done. There are some dashes of Metalocalypse-influenced art in the show, but I feel as if it tries to steer into its own direction as well. How well that actually happened is for you, the viewers, to decide. If it hadn’t been for the laggy movement and sounds, I feel as if this show might stood a chance. All in all I’m pretty disappointed with this one. Hopefully we’ll see some more that can tie more of the story together, but I honestly wouldn’t be upset if we didn’t.

(@chefrichBB) couldn’t help but think that this looked like a flashier version of Apollo Gauntlet. Maybe, after some time, I’ll understand this one as well.